I have to tell her
by RandomOncerThing
Summary: My first published fic. A story that kind of leads into the next. Emma's intro made sense to be joined by Snow and Killian's conversation. I don't know if I continue this story but I kinda want to if anyone has any ideas please leave a comment.
1. Emma

**This is my first for Once and my first fanfic on this site so I hope its ok. I hope you enjoy it. I had issues with getting Snow and Emma right on an emotional level sometimes but Killian is an open book so if it comes off a little weird please don't** h **esitate to tell me in the comments. Please comment when you've read it as well. I would love a review! Be awesome and stay happy, guys! xx**

 **I had an original idea but it had no conversation the story was very much expositional. I was advised to add some conversation and try to follow some sort of "proper story" within the piece. At this point I have to thank my two beta readers, my sister (also a Oncer) and my friend (not a Oncer but good at English). It's set after the season 6 finale but this isn't really referenced, it just makes sense it's part of their happy ending. So, this is where the idea came from originally and the I have the edited story with the conversation added in but I wanted to show both parts not showing the editing process but because I am quite proud of both parts and its some of the best writing I have done in awhile. I also wanted to show the original story so it makes more sense where the later part comes from. So without further ado, the story:**

How has all this changed in such a short amount of time? Most people will say that 6 years is a long time but in comparison to the 28 years, I spent alone, jumping from house to house, family to family, without ever counting it as my house or my family. 7 years of continuity, of belonging to someone and something special, something more magical that any of the films or books I feasted on in a vain attempt at escape, in those years where everything felt dull, set in stone, a monotonous beat leading one day into the next.

The only sparkle was that year with Neal. I was still young, a teenager, a child really, but I had always had light fingers and such an innocent face no one ever looked my way twice and I think that mistaken innocence is what called out to him. As we got to know each other it became more and as our relationship changed and grew we grew with it but in the end, I think my desperate urge, my need to fit in took over. I had to do anything to keep his attention to make him proud of me, that's why I was willing to get those watches, that's why we never found Tallahassee. I still regret my choices that day but I will never regret the consequences of our actions together. Together we made the world turn, joy thundering through our veins, flowing into each other with each loving give and take of the other's body. Together we made life, new life: new meanings, new stories and most importantly new happy endings, new hope. He built me up so high if only I knew then that he would knock me so low, leave me with nothing but this chance, a chance I let slip through my fingers due to naivety and real innocence. I tried to shut it out, to shut the world out after that and to a degree I succeeded. Until he turned up on my doorstep. Until he brought my mundane existence crashing down around my ankles. Until he took those broken pieces of the half-life I built for myself and made them into something new. A family, a home, a job, a group of friends, a country, a fight for good, a guy even. My family, my home, my job, my friends, my fight, my man: my husband. That last one is one of the weirdest. After everything that happened. After years of being alone. Suddenly, I have this man, a pirate no less or even weirder, Captain Hook, flirting with me. You told me a pirate was flirting with 10 years ago I would have laughed, for a very long time. He implied he was falling for me very early on but I took my time hesitant after all the times I had been built up just to be let down in my life before. But he won me over, with his smiles, with his flirts, with his kisses, his massive gestures, his respect, his love, his support, until I was his and he was mine entirely.

People say you remember your wedding day as the happiest moment for the rest of your lives. I want to believe that is true but recent events will always try to eclipse it. The day little Neal spoke for the first time ("ru-ru") which Mum tried desperately, her eyes shining with joy, to tell us is him talking to his favourite toy, a little kangaroo, and we excepted and celebrate whilst silencing Henry with "the look", stopping him saying what Killian and I, privately, agreed with, that it was probably after Ruby, he had always liked her, his hands wrapping into her the long curls of her hair every time she came close. He would have liked his mother's hair if we had been brought up in the Enchanted Forest.

But the day even better than that was the day Megan was born. Megan Hope Swan- Jones. Our beautiful, blue-eyed wonder. Princess Megan of Misthaven's birth was nothing spectacular. Killian and I were prepared so when I felt my waters go we left for the hospital. Her arrival was nothing big. And something so big all mixed into one. I clung desperately to Killian's hand on one side and my mother's on the other. And when the time came I rode the pain out through my hands and screams, I pushed and waited and pushed until suddenly everything loosened, the pain lessened somewhat and there was a surprised whimper. A tiny little mewl. And then there she was. My little girl. In my arms, staring up at me and Killian with the same swirling deep blue eyes that she shared with her daddy. Breathing us in as much as we were taking every beautiful inch of her in. I looked up at Killian and his bright blue eyes feed into me as I whispered, "we made her" and he responded, "Aye, love, we did". Life never felt better than it did in that moment.


	2. Killian and Snow

**So the Snow and Killian Conversation:**

"This has to stop. I'm sorry but I can't let you keep this up."

"What?"

Killian drew up short stopping his mother-in-law in her tracks.

"I don't know if you can see what you're doing but it's hurting Emma. Letting her be lead on into believing you let another child grow up without you there. Yes, you're there more than you could be with Emma but our friends around town are not a babysitting service. Neal sees more of Grannie and Ruby than he does of his own sister, his nephew. She won't admit it but believe me she can see what you're doing to that child. I know you would never hurt either of your children on purpose. I know how much he meant to you, your deepest secret back in Neverland all that time to you but the fact that you always seem to value Emma more than your son." His tone softened. "It affects her more than you realise to be the one always chosen because she knows how it feels to be the odd one out, the lost child, we both do if I'm honest. She loves her brother and she wants you to let him have a chance to grow up without some of the pain, you unintentionally, I know, but the pain you unavoidably put her through. You were protecting her but Neal is safe, there is no threat, you can be with him all you want. I don't want to be mean or blunt, your highness, I just care about her, and you, all of you."

"I know, Killian, maybe your right. Maybe Emma draws more focus than Neal but she is older. She had her fight and he, he just lies around all day, in a crib or on his belly when he's at home. He can be cute, I love him so much, he can be so adorable and perfect but with everything that happens in Storybrooke in the way it does, he, he wouldn't be safe doing much more than sleeping and being cute. I'm trying to keep him safe. I know you can see I'm trying to keep them both safe. I love both my children, my daughter AND my son so much." Her tone flustered and disturbed by his warm look for comfort and (what was that?) almost understanding, she started to walk away, breathing deeply clearly flustered by the look in Captain Hook's eyes. She stuck by what she said in the enchanted forest, there had been a wedding, it would take some getting used to, a long time. "I don't have to take this. One day, you might have kids one day you will understand, come back when you do. I will explain it better then. You might follow it.

His response was so quiet she almost missed it "It won't be long before this comes up again then." His face showed he instantly regretted saying that out loud. It was clearly something he wasn't meant to be sharing, something that had left his mouth in the heat of the moment.

"W-what?" Snow muttered stopping, a look of confusion spreading over what he could see of her face.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud. You know, wish full thinking." She didn't believe him for a second and barely hesitated before asking.

"You want a child, Killian? Are you and Emma planning children? Are you ready?"

His response came fast and certain. "Yes, yes in a manner of speaking and I hope so because we've got no choice!"

"WHAT?"

"You heard. But don't tell her I said anything. I want to explain how all this happened first or she'll kill me."

"Emma, my Emma, my baby girl, is going to have a child. And so are you, congratulations, Killian"

"Thank you. We were wondering how to tell you I must say this makes it easier. And Emma has already had a child so it's not a new thing. Well, it is. I suppose it's a whole new person but it's not like she's never done it before. I suppose she's never done it with support before. Maybe that will make it easier for her, I mean, I will never leave her, I will always be there for her. My love, my wife, the mother of my little one. I will always be there for her and her family, for Henry, for you and David, for Neal, for my little one, the one I helped create. Bloody hell. I helped create a person. And an actual person, who will be depending on us to keep it alive. What am I going to do, Snow? What are me and Emma going to do? I did only have one problem a few seconds ago, now I have so many but for now, I have the bigger problem."

"What?"

"I have to tell her I told you. Don't say anything to her or anyone else until I do. Or I will be shot and she will be alone for it again."

"I promise. A child is a miracle, Killian, count yourself lucky. As for all that other stuff, they are all the usual worries. David was worse than that during my pregnancy with both of our children. You and Emma still have plenty of time to work things out for you personally and you know you both have so much support… I still can't believe this." She pulled him into a hug before bidding him goodbye and walking off into the night with a massive grin on her face she was going to find it hard to hide from David later.

That was not how he had expected the conversation to go. Not only had he failed to make her see his point of view about Neal and brought the conversation and focus back to Emma again without meaning to, he had also let slip their secret. The surprise they had been waiting for the right moment to tell together. To tell everyone together. "Now" he, thought as he walked in the direction of the house he shared with his wife and son-in-law. "Now I have to tell her." He braced himself for what could be a long evening.


End file.
